Triple-nut and Pineapple Cake, a.k.a Trick Cake a.k.a Judas Cake

I like to think I’m a fairly good judge of character. The flip side is that once my mind has been made up about a person, I tend to be somewhat…inflexible is probably the charitable word, though “mulish” also springs to mind.

Thus, I hardly ever find myself in a situation where I feel betrayed or disappointed that someone’s initial promise didn’t live up to my expectations. Or maybe I’m just lucky that most all the peeps in my life are lovely.

Recipes however, are a different story. I tend to be able to spot the duds these days after more than ten years of cooking and even more of baking but sometimes…well, it makes you weep. All those expensive nuts, all that promise.

This cake even looks pretty. It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing people, beware. Well, it’s actually nothing of the sort, but I can’t think of a more apt metaphor so that’ll have to do.

I mean, it doesn’t even have the decency to be really disgusting (like the Grape-Drenched Seedcake I tried recently). It’s just not as great as a cake with macadamia, pinenut, coconut, pineapple *and* cream cheese icing ought to be. Not even close. The texture was too grainy which tells me I should have chopped the nuts a lot more finely, and to add insult to injury, it was a bit dry. I hardly ever make the mistake of leaving cakes in too long, I can smell them when they’re done but I was napping and I’m afraid I forgot about it.

It’s like a girl with a pretty face who turns around, stabs you in the back and steals your wallet, but kinda…gently.

But as I said, all the actual pretty girls I know are as sweet as pie, so I ain’t complainin’.

So, are you the give ‘em a fighting chance type or the mulish type?

Maybe you think you can fix this. I mean the raw ingredients are awesome, amirite? If you’re a good baker and have a wad of cash burning a hole in your pocket and crying “spend me on macadamia nuts and cream cheese tout de suite!” try it – I’d love to know how it goes. I’d do it myself if I had the aforementioned wad.

Triple-Nut and Pineapple Cake

Adapted from another one I cannot remember the provenance of I’m afraid, let me know if you do so I can attribute them (ha, if they want to be).

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius (360 fahrenheit).

Grease a 22 cm cake tin and line the bottom.

In a large bowl, beat together the eggs and sugar with a hand mixer or stand mixer until doubled in volume.

Add the nuts.

Sift the flour , leaveners and spices into a separate bowl and fold into the egg mixture. Fold in the coconut and the pineapple.

Pour into the tin and bake for about three quarters of a hour or until a skewer comes out clean

Cool completely before cutting in half and icing the middle and the top with the following icing.

Cream cheese icing

This is not their icing, it’s a better one

Beat together the butter and cream cheese until smooth. Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary or desirable to soften the cream cheese first.

Slowly incorporate the icing sugar and finally add the zest.

Print this recipe

Tagged as: cake, cheese, coconut, cream cheese, dud, macadamias, pinenut, recipe, soft cheese